


Reset

by Redstarz97



Series: Time is Relative [7]
Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, but that's cause of New Kid for reasons, heavy undertale references, hints to another effect in the timelines maybe, lots of deaths, so tread carefully when reading, the pov gets a little weird at times, this piece in particular is very very dark and very very heavy, warnings for implications of self-harm and suicide along with abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 01:36:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10205921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redstarz97/pseuds/Redstarz97
Summary: It felt as though you were sitting in front of a fuzzy T.V. with a broken console beside you, your hand constantly pressing the reset button hoping to get it right. A boy sits next to you with a controller waiting for the game in the empty slot to boot up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Forgot to post this one up, it was a really interesting piece to write cause I've never really written something with a P.O.V. so weird and out of place?? If that makes sense...
> 
> WARNING!! This particular one deals with a lot of heavy stuff such as self-harm, abuse, and suicide so please, please tread carefully when reading this part of the series- WARNING!!

You started to scream when you felt your wrists being held down, you began to thrash and kick at the figure above you.

**“I told you, being in the timestreams is bad- bad, bad, bad!”**

Your head turned from side to side as you tried to block out their words, black ooze slowly dripped down your cheeks as the melting face above you grinned from ear to ear.

**“Why didn’t you save them- why didn’t you save me?”**

You started gasping for air as you struggled harder and you felt like you were suffocating. **“Aren’t we friends?”**

You somehow started to choke and you weren’t sure why, there was intense pain at the tip of your tongue and the muscle itself felt heavy in your mouth. You started to cough out blood, but held your teeth tight together when the figure above you tried to pry your mouth open with one hand, their other hand held down your wrists.

**“Why won’t you answer me- we’re friends aren’t we?”**

You whimpered as you felt your body grow sluggish and your thrashing slowly dying down.

You weren’t aware of the boy that held you down as he tried to open your mouth, his desperate blue eyes filled with both fear and worry as he tried to call out to you again.

“Dude, _please_ , it’s me! _Calm down_ \- you bit your tongue and I need to see how badly-” Kenny called out as you choked and coughed up blood, you struggled to breath even a bit of air but your windpipe was quickly clogged up with blood.

 **“Let’s go back, K҉҉̶u̴͢͢͝m̀͏a̢̨. Let’s go back to the way things were for us-”** You made a sound as Erra stood over you, something glowed above you and you didn’t have the energy to struggle out of the hold to reach up.

You faintly felt someone shake you as your vision began to darkened and you were falling again into the dark empty abyss.

“Don’t die on me, _please_ \- for god’s sake, please _don’t die-_ ”

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When you opened your eyes, you found yourself staring up at the ceiling of your room. The flaking bits threatened to fall onto you but you didn’t care at the moment. Not that you could considering your entire body felt like lead.

What day was it? What time was it? How far have you gone back? You weren’t sure anymore, days blended together and time was irrelevant to how far your messed up psyche has gone. Even the thought of rewinding time again didn’t phase you as much as it should have.

You stared blankly up at your white ceiling, the faint whispers of a voice so familiar to you forced you to will yourself to sit up.

**“I love yellow-violets and yellow-daisies.”**

Slowly and painfully, you slid yourself off your bed and dragged your feet to the door.

**“I hate b͟͟ú̶̵̕ţ̶͢҉t̴ę̷̢͟r̸̢͏c̢͘͟͟͞u̵̢̡͞͡p̷̛͝͡s͏̛ though- why did you go?”**

You slammed your fist onto the door and gritted your teeth at the crawling pain down your arm. It was the only thing that grounded you to the reality before you. But you knew it wouldn’t be forever.

You didn’t know if your parents were home or not and either way it didn’t matter, considering your body was practically on autopilot. You opened to door from your room and stepped out into the vacant hallway, you made your way down the steps with only the sound of your feet breaking the silence in the house.

The smell of ç̶̶̶͝i̧̢͘҉n̴ń̢҉ą̀̕m̴͘͠ó͢n̡̛̕͝͝-̨̕b͟͜͠ù̷̧͜ţ̴̢̀t͠҉͞e̕͘͟͝r̶̡̨̨̕ş̨c̷ó̢͝t̨̡̧c͢͝҉҉h͏͜ ̴͏p̛͘͟͡ì̷̶͠e҉̢ filled your nose at which you quickly covered in fear of puking onto the carpet floor as you made your way to the kitchen.

When the bright light of the kitchen blinded you, you blinked a few times as you studied the surroundings before you. Things glitched in and out of place, a pie would appear in and out on the counter across from you. You quickly shook your head hoping to will the non-existent pie away.

You staggered across the tiled floor as you pulled open the first drawer, you were met with ladles and wooden spoons. Mostly baking utensils.

**“I̸̶҉̛͝ ̡͏h̶̛͟͠i̕͏̸̡d̡͞ ̧̛́͞͏t̵̡h̶͟͠e҉҉m̢͝ ͠s̛͏͜ó̸̶͜ ̶̢y̵̶͢͢͞ơ̧͢͜͡u̧͠͡͠ ̷̢́c̵͏́a͠n̢̡͏'̨̧͠͞t̷̀͢͟͝ ҉͞l̸͏̕e͜͞a҉̵͟͝v҉̷è̸̸̷̴.̷̴̸̡́”**

You started to pull drawer after drawer in search of your desired item when you heard the door knob at the front jiggle. Your search became more and more frantic as fists could be heard banging from the other side.

Just as you found the drawer that held the knives, the front door flew opened and the image of a cracked face and a bleeding smile flashed in your mind, you quickly grabbed the first knife that your hand touched.

 _“What the hell are you doing.”_ You turned to find Kenny McCormick staring at you as though you had lost your mind which wouldn’t be too far from what it is at this point.

You shook your head and took a step back, you clutched onto the handle shakingly.

“Dude… _put it down._ ” He walked cautiously towards you with his hands held up in a surrendering position. With every step he took, you mirrored with a step back as your body trembled in fear.

Perhaps it was of Kenny McCormick or the fact that his image would slowly shift into one that was once your friend from another world.

**“Your d̛͟͢e͘͡t҉̸́́͝e̴̛͡r͟m̕͠҉i͏̢͟͡҉ǹ̸͏̶a̕t̨̕í̛͟͟o͘͟͜͡͝n̷͠ isn’t yours- it’s mine.”**

“I just want to talk, man. Just, please, put the knife down.”

You shook your head again and slowly brought the knife close to your neck, a pounding headache threatened to split your whole head open as the melting face closed in on you.

 _“..’m not going back..”_ You whispered, your amber eyes wide and wild as the kitchen glitched in and out to an empty darkness. You held the cold blade closer to your skin as you gazed at the glitching figure.

“Dude, _please.._ ”

**“Y̷͢͞͞o͢͏̶͟ư͡͡ ̴͟͟d͘͏̀̕ó̷̢͡n̸̨'̷̸͘t͏͢͝ ̵͠҉h̸̢̛a҉̨̡͢͝v̧͝͝͞e̷̸͡ ̵͜͞͠a͞͞҉ ̷͘͟͡͞c̛̀̕͝h̨́͢͟͡o̷̸̷͡i͠͏c̡e̵͜.̨͘͞”**

You let out a yell before you drew the blade across your throat, the skin sliced from ear to ear. You coughed up blood that filled your windpipes as you started to gasp on your own blood. The figure before you started to shift again and you were met with a horrified Kenny.

 _“Shit, shit, shit!”_ You barely registered his frantic hands reaching out to grab you as you dropped the knife and fell to the tiled floor. His desperate cries for you were all muffled when your vision started to blur and in the distance you saw Erra standing on the other side of the room.

Just before you blacked out, you were able to make out what Kenny’s hoarse voice was saying.

_“Don’t die.”_

Erra grinned maniacally as you fell into the dark abyss once again.

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You woke up on a bench in an empty park, the slight creak from the swing-sets being the only source of noise in the lonely playground. The wind slightly brushed your hair against your cheek as you sat up to take in your surroundings.

Which Reset was it this time? You couldn’t remember nor could you bring yourself to care, time had been manipulated so much and you knew by this point you were starting to lose control.

Not that you haven’t already.

As you pushed yourself to sit up, there was a sudden presence in the empty park and you slowly turned to them. Your amber eyes blank and unfocused in contrast to sky blues that held fear and intense concern.

You stayed silent as the boy moved to stand in front of you, his gloved hands balled into a fist deep within his pockets.

“Why are you doing this.” It’s not really a question, more of a statement despite how it’s worded. You shrug and his intense eyes bore into you.

“Do you get some sick satisfaction with messing with the universe? With people’s _lives_?” He spat and you sat there unshaken by his voice. You felt as though you had this conversation before and you were pretty sure you had, after all, you were probably in the hundreds of the many resets you forced.

“What’s your piss poor excuse for this shit?”

“... Probably the same reason when you tortured me and let me die.” You shot back in a hollow voice, you watched him flinch as though he were physically struck by your words.

 _Good_ , you thought, _he deserves every bit of it._

It took him a bit before he was able to speak again, your words must’ve jarred his thoughts on how to approach your now exhausted mind.

“This is a fucked up way to get back at me, if that’s what you’re going for.” Kenny replied and you resist the urge to roll your eyes at him. He acted as if he were lecturing you, in which in his own way he may have. You just didn’t give a damn.

“This is fucking with my brain.”

“... That makes two of us.” You shrug again and you watch as sky blue eyes narrow as they study your nonchalant movements.

“Then stop.” It sounds almost like a plea and it calls something deep within you that you probably buried many resets ago. You frowned and looked away, unable to face the blond boy.

“..And why should I? Why do you suddenly care if I die or not?” Your nails dug into the old wooden bench as you tried to keep your voice leveled, you refused to look up at the boy in front of you.

“You didn’t care when you let your friends beat me half to death and you let… **them** kill me.Then you had the audacity to chase me and think sorry is enough. I’m sorry to say, but saying sorry isn’t gonna get rid of the shit you caused.” You seethed and he stiffened a little as he tried to hold his composure. His alter-ego side blending in with Kenny McCormick at this moment.

“I know that. I’m not a dumbass.”

“You sure act like one.”

“The point is, I fucked up, okay? I majorly fucked up and- Goddamnit, do you know how messed up this all is?” He sounds exasperated, you stayed silent and choose to stare at the dirty snow beneath his boots. You hear him sigh in annoyance and your lips twitch a little at this.

“You’re screwing with the timeline shit… or… whatever. It could cause this world damage beyond what you’re capable of fixing.”

“And that matters to you….why?” You suddenly felt his hands around your arms as he yanked you up forcefully. He pulled you close so that you had no where to look but at his haunting sky blue eyes.

You tried to keep a blank expression as fear started to awake your sluggish body.

“It matters to me because my friends and family live here. I am the symbol this town needs.” Kenny growled as he held you in a vice grip, you glared back into his narrowed eyes as you tried to push yourself away from him.

“You’re _not_ Mysterion, you’re just Kenny McCormick the poor boy who has a fucked ability of immortality. Go wallow in your self-pity somewhere else.”

You watched as his eyes widened as he stared into your cold amber eyes, just as he released you, a fist connected with your cheek and you fell to the damp, snowy ground.

“ _Fuck you_.” He snarled as you spat blood from the corner of your mouth, you accidentally bit the inside of your cheek when he punched you. You wiped at the blood at the corner of your mouth as you pushed yourself to stand once again, a foot or so away from the angry blond.

“What gives you the fucking right to talk shit like that about me anyway.”

“What makes you think I don’t have the right to talk shit about you?” You asked with a raised brow and he blinked in surprise of your answer. He quickly shook away the thought before starting again, boy was he on a roll.

“Stop fucking with the timeline.”

You gave him a challenging look as you placed your hands into the pockets of your hoodie and gave him a slight tilt of your head.

“Make me.” You acted as though you had a choice in the matter which you knew you didn’t, the figure that stood behind him did and you took another step away from them.

Kenny mirrored every step you took and you almost wanted to kick him and his stupid long legs.

“I’ll warn you again, stop fucking with the timelines, Douchebag.”

“No.”

**“Come back to me, K̶̛̛͠ư̶̡͠m̷͟͡a͏̷̢͜.”**

In a swift movement, you pulled out the alien blaster that you had kept from the rpg game and Kenny was instantly jumping into action.

He lunged at you with incredible speed and you suddenly found yourself pinned to the snow covered ground as he wrestled the gun out of your hand. You kicked him in the abdomen harshly as you tried to scramble away from him when he curled in pain slightly but, he quickly recovered before you had a chance to grab the blaster again and you felt your wrists trapped within the grip of his gloved hands.

You both panted as you stared at one another, both full of defiance and determination.

“... You don’t have a right to keep me here.” You mumbled as you stared up at him, the adrenaline you had earlier slowly receding and making you feel tired.

“I don’t belong to you.”

“You don’t belong to Erra either but you’re acting like you do.” Your eyes widened at his words and you quickly look away as you bit your lip.

“You’re letting whatever they said before control you, dude. It’s fucking with your mind.” He continues and you shake your head. You didn’t want to hear this, especially from him of all people.

“No, I’m not. I don’t belong to them..”

“Actions speak louder than words and your actions are telling me you’re Erra’s little bitch.” He leaned in closer and you turned away as his breath slightly tickled your ear.

“Are you Erra’s little bitch?”

“Shut up…”

“Seems like it.”

You snapped your attention back to him, anger bubbled with you as you were filled with renewed energy.

“You don’t know anything, McCormick, so shut your fucking mouth..!”

Kenny stared at you impassively as he hovered over you, your body shook with rage from his apathetic look. _What an asshole._

“I belong to no one.. I’m not yours, I’m not Erra’s, _I’m_ …!”

“You’re what? What are you other than someone’s _little bitch_?”

 _“Fuck you, Kenny!”_ You kicked him again, hard this time and as he loosened his hold on your wrists when he doubles over in pain, you waste no time in swinging your fist at his face.

 _“Fuck!”_ He yelped and you took this chance to crawl to your blaster quickly. Just as he looked up you pointed the blaster at him and your hands trembled.

You remembered your hands shaking the last time you pointed this thing at him and there was fire all around you. Kids and adults all screaming alike as the world burned and the dead-like boy stood before you.

You shook that thought away quickly.

Kenny held his hands up in mild surprise before his eyes narrowed as if daring you to pull the trigger.

“If you’re gonna kill me, do it. **Pull the fucking trigger.** ”

You barked out a hollow laugh as you moved the blaster down so that it was no longer pointing at him, you felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes.

“I’m not anyone’s little bitch and I’ll prove it to you. Watch me.” You probably were insane by this point but you didn’t care.

Kenny didn’t have a chance to react when you turned the blaster on yourself and pulled the trigger. A loud shot rang out as you fell into the snow once more, blood seeped onto the pristine white ground.

 _“Shit!”_ You heard Kenny curse before your vision started to fade once again, the image of Erra hovered over you as you blinked up at them.

They smiled.

You let out a choked sob as you fell into the abyss once again.

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The next time Kenny found you, you jumped in front of a moving truck before he could reach you.

You felt something burst within you and you were falling into the abyss once again.

You faintly heard Erra’s laughter.

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You barely heard the door open as your body slowly became more and more numb. The warm red liquid dripped down between your fingers and into the clean white tub as your head laid on the cold side.

Hands on both sides of your face held up your head as you started to nod off into darkness once again, blue eyes frantic held your fading gaze as you felt small taps against your cheek and slight shaking from the other.

“Stop, stop, stop. Please, _stop_!”

You fell into the abyss again, someone was calling you from below this time.

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You felt the cold metallic pipe go right through you when the truck carrying a cart full of them crashed.

Someone had their hands on your shoulders as you fell to your knees, a mess of blond hair blocking your view from the distant sun above.

“Don’t, please, just stay a little longer!”

You fell into a patch of golden flowers with arms ready to catch you.

You remembered a broken smile with bleeding eyes.

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It was constant after that, nothing new had changed anything and that conversation with Kenny in all those resets ago certainly didn’t change you in any way.

Or at least you hoped.

You would always be at the brink of death when he would find you and, as always, would beg you to not die or reset. It wasn’t as if you could control how much your body could handle.

Although, some of the deaths were partly if not mostly your fault. But what did that matter? Even if you weren’t the one that caused the outcome the results wouldn’t be any different.

Erra would still be waiting for you, calling out to you like always to return back to the ‘Menu’ but you would always black out before you reached them as well. The file would load and you would be back to one of your various saved points, you would start from there once again to cause another one of your deaths. Start another reset, a voice would echo in your head.

This time, you stood against a railing just meters above a rushing river beneath. It was stormy and the winds threatened to push you off into the river or perhaps sweep you into the clouds, either way, you held tightly onto the railing behind you as your body swayed steadily over the rushing water.

You tried to blink away the scene of stilled illuminating waters and flowers that whispered softly as you passed by them.

Your breath started to quicken when the scene didn’t fade away like it usually does, were you finally losing your mind and have you crossed over to insanity yet?

You probably were there already, but you were pretty sure hallucinations that came to life will be your undoing.

The still waters reflected a face beside you, a smile that showed innocence but held anything gleamed behind you. Your body shook as you heard their small and soft laugh.

**“Did you know the person who named this place can’t come up with a good name to save his life?”**

You frowned as you stayed silent when the other sat next to you, their feet dangled next to yours just inches above the lit waters.

**“You know, the water isn’t that deep. If you want, we can play in it for a while.”**

You shook your head and leaned back a little, as if you were suddenly repulsed by the idea of swimming. The other frowned at this.

**“Don’t be such a baby, it’s just water. It’s not like you’ll die a fiery death like you would in lava.”**

You shook your head again and they puffed their cheeks out in annoyance.

**“Oh fine, but let’s at least dip our toes into it, yeah? That won’t hurt right?”**

You hesitate when their violet eyes meet yours and their warm smile seemed welcoming.

**“It’ll just be for a bit, let’s just try it.”**

You let yourself lean forward a little to watch the other more closely, their smile widened at this.

**“It’s just water, there’s nothing to be scared of.”**

“Dude!”

You jumped as the scene suddenly faded and you stood over a rushing river, your hands that held the railings tightly behind you were held in a vice grip as the boy behind you called out to you again.

You slowly turned your attention to him, his image becoming of your old friend and back to him. You wanted to push yourself away from him but those blue eyes held you down, unmoving.

“Please, stop doing this.” You heard his soft plea in his broken voice as he held your hands tightly.

The scene shifted again and you were met with Erra’s begging of you not to leave.

**“Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me.”**

“You’re here.”

The setting suddenly vanished and you were staring at a disheveled Kenny McCormick who held tightly onto your wrists, a slight tug pulled you back a little from the edge but not too much. His intense gaze bore into you and a wave of unsureness came over you.

_Was this real?_

_Did Erra set this up?_

The scene started to glitch again, but you were quickly brought back by the sharp pain in your wrists from his tight grip. You grimaced as he held your eyes in his.

“You’re here, you’re fine and you’re here. You’re not there.” His voice is unwavering as you feel another tug again, you were almost close enough for him to grab you and pull you over the railing.

You tried to pull back as you shook your head.

“...I don’t belong to anyone..” You mumbled as you stared at him with terrified amber eyes, he pulled at you again and your back was against the railing now.

“No you don’t, so stop acting like you do!” You jumped at the sudden arms that wrapped around you from behind and pulled you against the cold railing with some parts of a warm body behind you. His arms shook as he held you there and you weren’t sure if it was from you or him that was doing the shaking.

“You’re here, you exist here, you’re not there. We’re in South Park, not there. You’re here.” He repeated over and over again as if to convince you but it seemed more like he was trying to convince himself. You bit your lip as you stared down at the rushing water beneath you. How easy it would be to push away from him and jump down there.

“This is real.”

You felt a sudden force of air leave you and you were left breathless as your body began to tremble, your hands shakingly released the railings as you slowly brought them to grip at the orange sleeves.

“...H-how… can you be sure…?” You asked, your voice feeble and weak as tears started to drip from your eyes. Or maybe that was rain.

“Because I’m here and I know I’m real. This is real, not whatever you keep seeing… so please just stop…” He begged again you shook your head, a small spark of defiance flickered within you.

“And why should I…? It’s not like… I’d care what you think…”

“And you’re right, you shouldn’t have to care what I think. But… but… The _**them** _ that you see… isn’t there. That’s not _**them** _.”

Your eyes widened at this and your mouth felt dry.

“I’m not crazy.” You whispered and you knew that was a lie, he probably knew it too. You just didn’t want the confirmation to be true, that you were crazy and that the Erra that you have been seeing- been dreaming about was all a fake. Some sick twisted illusion your mind came up from all the built up guilt.

“...I’m not crazy…”

“I know you’re not. You’re not… so just… come back okay?”

“I’m.. not… crazy..” Your voice shook as you felt him grip your body tightly, he pulled you over the railing enough to grab you by your legs and lift you over completely. He held you tightly as he stood on the wet sidewalk, the streets dark and barely lit from the one streetlight at the end of the road.

You gripped tightly onto his damp orange jacket, your voice breaking with every word.

“I’m not crazy… I’m not crazy…” You felt the slight brush of his lips at the top of your head as he held you closer, his own body shook as he spoke to you in a hushed tone.

“I know. I know. You’re here, this is real, I’m real.” He repeated as you felt him began to walk, probably in the direction of your home but you weren’t really paying attention. Your mind becoming static as you tried to make sense of the world around you.

“I’m not crazy…” You mumbled again and you vaguely felt him kiss the top of your head.

You barely noticed that it was just the two of you and no extra voice or figure with you.

\--

Your parents seemed both upset and relieved when Kenny had brought you home, you couldn’t really remember what had happened but they quickly took the both of you in from the rain and wind.

You were both smothered with hugs before your mother had taken you out of Kenny’s arm and you felt a bit cold without him as she went about to dry you off. Your father helped with the other boy as he went about calling Kenny’s family.

You both laid in your bed under the covers in nice dry clothes as you both stared up at the white ceiling, the faint sounds of cars passing by filled the silence between you two.

You turned to the other boy who seemed about to drift off to sleep and studied him for a bit.

You heard a faint echo of another voice and you turned fully to the body beside you, your arms quickly hugged the boy as you brought your bodies closer together.

“I’m… real… this is real…” You whispered and you stiffened a little when you felt arms wrap around you as well.

“I’m here… this is real.” He mumbled drowsily as he rubbed your back soothingly, the gestured tugged you steadily into slumber and you vaguely thought he probably had practice this with his siblings.

You nuzzled closer to the body before you as you let your eyes droop, a small hum escaped from your parted lips as you fell into slumber.

For the first time in a long time, you slept soundly and dreamed of playing in the golden fields with a boy with golden hair and sky blue eyes.

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